TEST RESULTS
 

                  180-200 PTS.

                  YOU ARE EVIL. Everyone around you pretends to like you, but in
                  reality, they despise you. Some conspire to kill you. You enjoy
                  kicking animals. Your favorite actor is that "Hey Vern" guy. You do
                  the Macarena in the shower and videotape it. You worship Satan and
                  will spend eternity in Hell. That is, after you're stabbed in the eye,
                  stuffed in a coffin, and buried alive by the last person you tick off.
 

                  155-175 PTS.

                  YOU ARE A JACKASS. Nobody likes to deal with you. You have poor table
                  manners and pass gas every two minutes. You are secretly attracted to
                  Yogi Bear. You have an uncontrollable fear of spaghetti. You laughed
                  at "Titanic" but cried at "Weekend at Bernie's 2". You have a hairy
                  back. Your favorite beer is Keystone Light. Although you like to spend
                  time in warm weather, you'll slowly bleed to death in Antarctica.
 

                  140-150 PTS.

                  YOU ARE AN IDIOT. You annoy people around you by jumping up and down
                  for no reason at all. You thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican Phone
                  Company. You love the Captain, but cant stand Teneille. Your favorite
                  number is 614. You insist that you are a natural blonde. Your name has
                  too many vowels and not enough consanants. You'll die with a smile on
                  your face, a bullet in your head, and fishnet stockings on your legs.
 

                  125-135 PTS.

                  YOU ARE A MORON. People pity you, a test tube baby that failed. You
                  think the refrigerator light stays on after the door closes. You dream
                  about killing Fabio. You enjoy taking long walks off short piers. To
                  this day, you cant understand why "The Gong Show" got cancelled. You
                  eat worms, but only on Tuesdays. Your favorite stooge is Larry. You
                  will get run over by a cement truck driven by a pregnant French woman.
 

                  100-120 PTS.

                  YOU ARE A SISSY. People pick on you all the time. Your favorite color
                  is pink and your favorite movie is "Steel Magnolias". You enjoy
                  wearing women's underwear and growing your toenails long. You have a
                  recurring nightmare in which you are forced to eat pigeons. You are a
                  vegitarian that wears fur. You appreciate irony. That's a good thing
                  because you'll spend your last days being eaten alive by pigeons.
 

                  55-95 PTS.

                  FINDINGS IN THIS RANGE ARE STILL INCONCLUSIVE. You might wind up
                  being a dictator of a third world country, or a cashier at a 7-11.
                  (Perhaps both.) You either are Swedish or desire to be Swedish.
                  You'll die in your sleep, or while someone you know is sleeping.
 

                  10-50 PTS.

                  YOU CONSTANTLY WALK THE FINE LINE BETWEEN BRILLIANCE AND INSANITY.
                  You're like an idiot savant (without the savant part). You think that
                  everyone around you prevents you from finding your true identity
                  (similar to "Total Recall", "Truman Show"). At times, you are tempted
                  to run a power drill against your temples to remove the transistors
                  implanted inside your head. You still can't believe its not butter.
                  Cause of death: unknown.
 

                  0 PTS.

                  YOU ARE A TRUE GENIUS. People fear you, because they do not understand
                  you. You like to test people and posess a disturbing sense of humor.
                  Your intelligence transcends all boundaries of space and time. You are
                  ahead of your time, a true visionary destined to become President of
                  the U.S.A. (or another type of cult leader).